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Summary: Good book for parents and teachers
Comment: This is a good read for teachers and parents looking to help their students and kids be more independent and reliable in a world that is showing them otherwise.
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Summary: nothing new, sophmoric premise and solutions
Comment: This book is based on a premise that has been around since parenting "This generation is going to hell in a hand basket due to X change". It then uses scare tactics including examples of gross substance abuse and untimely death to pull the reader in. The solutions of "spend quality time with your kids and as a family" are just as obvious as the problem given in the first place. To top it off, the book lumps and stereotypes current and past generations. One example in the book states that previous generations loved school because it freed them from menial chores while the current generation dislikes school because it's harder work than is expected of them around the house. The authors must assume that all parents / readers are ignorant of history, lack personality traits, and have no innate parenting intuition.
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Summary: my kids are the best because of it
Comment: I was given this book by my mother when my daughter was 2 and my son was 10. We were beginning to have problems with my son and my daughter was just a challenge, period. I fell in love with the book from the first page. They said they would solve my problems, and they did.
As the authors say, its more work the older your kids are, and its true. My son dragged his feet but eventually became the model child. My daughter became the angel I always knew she was. I kept a cheat sheet with me at all times with the questions to ask and the steps to take for the first few months. It was difficult to remember all the key words and phrases off the top of your head. After that it was a natural thing to do.
My kids are now, 22 and 15. My son is a wonderful, mature, loving, well rounded man. Your basic, responsible adult who thinks before he acts and behaves more "grown up" than many grown ups I know. My daughter is more mature than me! She is growing up in a tough world, as are all our kids, and she is handling it with grace and poise. I had some friends ask me recently what I use for discipline with her as they were looking for knew ideas. I thought for a moment and realized that I dont have to discipline her at all! She is the model teenager. She communicates with us, does her homework without complaint, cleans her room when asked, does chores and is willing to discuss anything with us. I told the other moms that it was due to Self Reliance. I believe that with all my heart.
I think my kids started out as good kids, as most do, I had good clay to mold. But, I knew nothing of raising kids, not good parenting role models to fall back on. I had used P.E.T. prior to this and found it to be effective. However, Self Reliance became the backbone of my parenting and we raised some fine people that will make a difference in the world.
I have also used these techniques with the adults in my life. I used it in my marriage (he caught on after a while), I use it in my business and personal life with great results. They translate to all things and have had them used on me also to good affect too. You know you are being "Relianced", but, it helps you come around to what you need to see to.
Customer Rating:
Summary: Veeteetoo is Beyond the Left Field...
Comment: I have had the pleasure of meeting Stephen Glenn at a number of seminars and look forward to taking the Developing Capable People workshop so that I may lead parenting classes for our school district (check the research on test score improvement in school districts providing families with these skills). My only "complaint" is that I did not have access to this material while raising my own children. I DO raise 32 a year and have used the seven steps for developing capable people as the basis of my philosophy for teaching. Over the last 19 years there have been but a handful who did not respond to methods suggested in this book - two were diagnosed as having severe psychological disorders. It is NOT a cookie cutter solution to raising children, nor is there any inference that parents don't DO for their children. It is about HOW we do for them - it is a guide to help you hear yourself and THINK about how and what you communicate to your children. I don't subscribe to any philosophy that is extreme in either direction, and I never felt that message related in this book. What is HAS done is remind me that my job is to help a child see himself/herself as capable - to develop intrinsic motivation. It is a HUGE job today when so many young people see themselves as lacking in academic skills. While their parents undoubtedly love them, they are often ill equipped to effect change. This book provides such a well written, easily understood narrative that one cannot help but come away with a better sense of "how to" and a set of skills that will be useful, even if only a few steps are implemented. It is a book I give to every new parent as a gift, one that I will continue to purchase with my own money for ANY parent who struggles and is concerned about his/her child's well being.
If I were emperess of the world, it would be required reading before taking a new baby home from the hospital (and certainly one for young single mothers choosing to raise their babies). I'm willing to step out and even suggest it be made mandatory for all educators too! Don't miss this book! I am about to purchase my 50th plus copy.
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Summary: Paradigm Shifting Book!
Comment: This book was recommended reading for a behavior management class that I took for my Master's Program. At the time I was teaching, but had no children. This book totally changed the way I approached discipline in the classroom. Since I wasn't a parent at the time,I would often lend out this book to parents of students and very often never got it back. I just kept buying more copies because I really felt that this book was something that all parents should keep and refer back to through the years.
I am now buying another copy for myself and my husband. We have 4 young children and I'm feeling I need a "refresher course" and I'm hoping my husband will read it so that we can be on the same page when we are discipling the kids. You might consider buying two copies, one to keep on your nightstand, and another to lend out to your friends. It's really that great!
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